Breakfast at McDonald's

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.
The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile."

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling".

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you." I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope."

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope."

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?"

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed...

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

An Angel wrote:

  • Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
  • To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.

Tea Cup Story

There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. This was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. One day in this beautiful shop they saw a beautiful teacup. They said, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful."
As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke. "You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay. My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'Let me alone', but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'"

"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. 'Stop it! I'm getting dizzy!' I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet."

"Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head, 'Not yet."

"Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. 'There, that's better', I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet."

"Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head saying, 'Not yet."

Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and I couldn't believe it was me. 'It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.'

"'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you would have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened; you would not have had any color in your life. And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

When you are going through adversity, and searching for reasons and answers, remember that it may not be punishment, it may not be your fault or anyone's fault. Adversity is here for a reason, for it is only through struggles, pain and suffering that we grow stronger and wiser.

Stress Management

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

"In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. "

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "

"So, before you go to bed tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it on your bed. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

"Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

  • Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
  • Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
  • Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
  • Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
  • If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • Never buy a car you can't push.
  • Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
  • You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
  • Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
  • We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.
  • A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Mark Doyle

Story of Frogs

A group of frogs was traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the unfortunate frogs they would never get out.

The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and simply gave up. He fell down and died. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could.

Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and suffering and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs asked him, "Why did you continue jumping. Didn't you hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

This story teaches two lessons:

1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.

2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path.

The power of words...it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another. Be special to others.

Do not underestimate the power of encouragement.

Stories of Successful People

When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."
Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralysed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.

In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."

The group was called The Beatles.

In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modelling Agency, told modelling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married."

She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.

In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, Fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere....son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."

He went on to become the most popular singer in America named Elvis Presley.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to use one of them?"

In the 1940s, another young inventor named Chester Carlson took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down. In 1947 - after seven long years of rejections! - he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, New York, the Haloid company, to purchase the rights to his invention - an electrostatic paper-copying process.

Haloid became Xerox Corporation we know today.

The Moral of the above Stories:

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face.... You must do the thing you cannot do. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace.

Some tips to achieve Positive Attitude

1. Always have presence of mind:
Having presence of mind always helps you know how you feel as you can actively know the thoughts that come to you. People who don't always remain mentally present get into the mode where negative thoughts start occurring and they get deeply immersed into it. With presence of mind a person can know when such negative thoughts occur and can take actions to over power it.

Always remaining in presence of mind is not an easy task. It is difficult; but achievable. You can achieve this by way of meditation.

2. Think and be Positive:

To think positive, you must speak positive. Speaking negatively has a chain reaction on your mind. Try to stay away from negative people. The more you stay with them; chances are that you will be like them. If you have a desire to score good marks or get through a MBA college, associate with friends who have a similar goal and positive attitude. Never associate with people who will tell you how difficult it is. Therefore to remain positive, try to look for surroundings that nurture positive behaviour.

3. Affirmation:

In the words of Stephen Covey (Author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People), a good affirmation has five basic ingredients: it's personal, it's positive, it's present tense, it's visual and it's emotional. Writing affirmations and reading them over and over again, will help you achieve positive attitude. Some examples of positive affirmations are:

I. Every day in every way I am better and better.

II. I am now awakening the genius within me.

III. I have a perfectly healthy body and mind.

4. Visualize Success:

Visualize your success. I haven't enjoyed any feeling as much as I have enjoyed the feeling of visualizing being successful. If you desire to buy a good car, a house or wish to get selected for a job, start with preparing for your goal and follow your preparation with visualization. Visualize your goal in every detail as possible. If you wish to buy a car, then visualize yourself driving the car. Visualize every single detail; visualize the dash board, the interiors, the speed, the music system, etc. If you desire to get selected for a job, visualize that your interview has been successful, visualize you getting the offer letter, being introduced in the organization, etc.

5. Meditate:

Meditation helps you in many ways to embrace positive attitude. If not only helps you calm your body and soul, but also releases substances and chemicals within your body which make you feel happy. By making it a habit to meditate you start remaining happy.

6. Always smile and be happy:

No matter what the circumstances you must always be happy and keep smiling. I know you have a question of "How can a person always be happy and keep smiling?" The answer is very simple. Whatever happens is for your own good and God along knows why He did what He did. If you keep this in mind, then nothing can take away your happiness. If you leave everything onto Him and only concentrate on doing hard work, you will start to accept anything that comes your way (success or failure). If you accept everything that God gives you, you will always remain happy. This concept is a little difficult to digest initially, but this was an advice once given by an elderly mentor which has changed my life completely. Only concentrate on hard work in the right direction. The result will always follow. So don't worry, be happy… and don't forget to smile.

-Jack Canfield

Taj Mahal among new 7 wonders of the world

New Delhi July 08, 2007 Always counted among the man-made marvels of the world by its admirers, the Taj Mahal has found pride of place in a new list of seven wonders polled by people around the globe.

The most photographed monument is accompanied by The Great Wall of China, Petra in Jordan, the statue of Christ the Redeemer in Brazil, Machu Picchu in Peru, the Pyramid of Chichen Itza in Mexico and the Roman Colloseum in the list announced at a gala ceremony in the Portuguese capital Lisbon to coincide with the date 07/07/07.

Amid songs and dance Bollywood star Bipasha Basu announced Taj Mahal as one of the wonders. Agra Mayor Anjula Singh received the award.

Indians voted overwhelmingly in the polls cast by around 100 million people from across the world. The polling picked up drastically over the last one month, to see the "monument of love" through to the final seven.

The worldwide poll, in which people could vote for their favourite monument either on-line or through SMS, was conducted by the New 7 Wonders Foundation, a Swiss non-profit group.

The one-and-a-half-hour-long ceremony at Portugal's largest venue, the Estadio da Luz, saw award-presentation appearances by celebrities like Hillary Swank, Ben Kingsley, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neil Armstrong.

The celebrity-studded event also saw performances by Jennifer Lopez, Chaka Khan and Dulce Pontes. (-PTI)

Dubai tower is now 'world's tallest building

Developers of the Burj Dubai say it has become the world's tallest building.

 

1,680-foot skyscraper still under construction; finished height a secret.

 

Building expected to be finished by end of 2008.

 

Taiwan's Taipei 101, at 1,667 feet, has been tallest building since 2004.

 

22 July 2007 DUBAI , United Arab Emirates (AP) -- Developers of a 1,680-foot (512 meters) skyscraper still under construction in oil-rich Dubai has claimed that it has become the world's tallest building, surpassing Taiwan 's Taipei 101 which has dominated the global skyline at 1,667 feet (508 meters) since 2004.
The tower has become the world's tallest building, say developers.

1 of 3 The Burj Dubai is expected to be finished by the end of 2008 and its planned final height has been kept secret. The state-owned development company Emaar Properties, one of the main builders in rapidly developing Dubai, said only that the tower would stop somewhere above 2,275 feet.

When completed, the skyscraper will feature more than 160 floors, 56 elevators, luxury apartments, boutiques, swimming pools, spas, exclusive corporate suites, Italian fashion designer Giorgio Armani's first hotel, and a 124th floor observation platform.

After North American and Asian cities marked their 20th century economic booms with skyscrapers, the Gulf grew eager to show off its success with ever taller buildings. In Dubai, long an oil-rich Gulf symbol of rapid economic growth, the building reflects the city's hunger for global prestige.

"It's a symbol of Dubai as a city of the world," said Greg Sang, the project director for Emaar Properties. Mohammed Ali Alabbar, chairman of Emaar, said it will be an architectural and engineering masterpiece of concrete, steel and glass. Dubai has "resisted the usual and has inspired to build a global icon," he said.

"It's a human achievement without equal."

The $1 billion skyscraper is in the heart of downtown Dubai , a 500-acre development area worth $20 billion. Construction, which began just 1,276 days ago, has been frenzied -- at times, one storey rises every three days.

The tip of the Burj's spire will be seen for 60 miles, developers say. But Sang knows it will not dominate the world's skyline forever. "It's a fact of life that, at some point, someone else will build a taller building," he said. "There's a lot of talk of other tall buildings, but five years into Burj Dubai's construction, no one's started building them yet," he said.

Previous skyscraper record-holders include New York 's Empire State Building at 1,250 feet; Shanghai's Jin Mao Building at 1,381 feet; Chicago 's Sears Tower at 1,451 feet; and Malaysia's Petronas Towers at 1,483 feet.

The Burj will let the Middle East reclaim the world's tallest structure. Egypt's Great Pyramid of Giza, built around 2500 B.C., held the title with its 481 feet (147 meters) until the Eiffel Tower in Paris was built in 1889 at a height of 985 feet (300 meters), or 1,023 feet (312 meters) including the flag pole.

The company says the Burj will fulfill the Chicago-based Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat's four criteria for the tallest building: the height of the structural top, the highest occupied floor, the roof's top, and the spire's tip, pinnacle, antenna, mast or flag pole.

For now, the unattractive brownish concrete skeleton jutting into Dubai 's humid skies lacks any aura of a masterpiece. Rising 141 floors with a mass of surrounding cranes and girders, it has no windows, glass or steel yet.

The architects and engineers are American and the main building contractor is South Korean.

Most of the 4,000 laborers are Indian. They toil around the clock in Dubai 's sizzling summer with no set minimum wage. Human rights groups regularly protest against labor abuse in Dubai , but local media rarely report such complaints.

Remember Those Who Serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?"

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. "How much is a dish of plain ice cream?" he inquired.

Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she said brusquely. The little boy again counted the coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed.

When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies - her tip.

A positive attitude is everything

It's the Attitude rather than the Aptitude which helps us reach the Altitude
It's our attitude which helps us grow or fall. The main purpose of this article is to help you achieve the correct attitude to achieve anything in life. A positive attitude is everything.

Attitude is everything in life. It's a state of your mind at which impossible is nothing. Your mind releases abundance of energy and strength in your body to achieve anything that you desire.

Having a right attitude is not an easy task. Many people spend years gaining the right attitude. They end up reading self help material and attend seminars, it works for them for the first few months and then they are back to where they started from.

Why does this happen? Reasons are many, personal and psychological. I would like to touch base on the psychological reasons.

Psychological reasons why attitude training does not work

1. Recent Failure

For some failure is the end of road and for some it's a new beginning, it's how you look at failure. When things go wrong, we start to blame ourselves and other people. That is why we lose our positive attitude. If we start to think that the failure was for our good and may be the forces of universe wanted us to learn an essential lesson before achieving success, then we are thinking from a positive frame of mind.

2. Loss of Focus

This happens to many people. We aim for something and then we lose focus. Could be that we have something else that is interesting to achieve or we don't find our goals interesting any more. Therefore, if we don't find anything interesting to achieve, no matter how hard we try using our positive attitude, we aren't going anywhere.

3. Procrastination

This is the number one killer of positive attitude. The more you procrastinate, higher the risk of losing your self-esteem. With low self-esteem it is not possible to set a positive attitude. Take up a diary and jot down all the tasks that you have to do and allocate sufficient time for it to be done and remember to always plan your week instead of just the day.

Above were the psychological reasons why our positive attitude training fails. We are all humans and in recent times with pressure from our clients, bosses and home we have an urgent need to perform and achieve. Only a right and positive attitude can help you to achieve your goals and desires. Having a positive attitude not only helps you grow, but also helps you emit positive energy thus making you more likable.

-Jeff Keller

Piece Of Cake

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" Here is a wonderful explanation!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong - she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile her Mother is baking a cake and asks if her daughter would like a snack, the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says daughter. "How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross" Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

Life works in the same way. Many times we wonder why we through such bad and difficult times. But when everything is put together, the result could be very different! We just have to be patient and try to piece everything together.

I hope your day is a "Piece of Cake"!

Feelings and Emotions Energize Your Thoughts

Most of you have probably heard or read about creative visualization. Some of you have perhaps tried it. The idea is that by visualizing a mental image of a desired object or situation, you can attract it into your life. In this way you can change and shape your life, behaviour and circumstances.

This technique utilizes the power of thoughts, but thoughts alone are not enough to make things happen. Some additional ingredients are required to energize the thoughts into action. These ingredients are your feelings and emotions. What makes you take action, a cold uninteresting thought, or one charged with emotion?

What kind of lecturer rivets your attention, someone who talks in a boring, listless manner, or a lecturer who talks with zest and emotion?

People, actions and thoughts charged with emotion make a stronger impact. This is why it is important to add emotions to your thoughts, if you wish to manifest them. Feelings and emotions put life into thoughts and make them produce effect in the external world, the same way that electricity make electrical appliances work. Both electricity and thoughts require some sort of energy to make them work and produce results.
How to use the power of feelings and emotions in a practical way?
In order to make your thoughts come true, you need to charge them with emotional energy. Thoughts that are charged with emotional energy have greater affect and can drive into action.

This is one of the secrets of using successfully the techniques of creative visualization.

If you want to achieve anything through creative visualization you need to energize your thoughts. You can do so by producing positive and happy feelings of success and happiness, and associating them with your goal.

All of us have experienced at least some sort of success or happiness in our life. Even small manifestations of success count. Think and find out such past moments. Remind yourself of that success or happiness and relive it in your imagination. Visualize the event as clearly as you can, and let the positive and happy feelings you experienced at that time become alive again. Relive and relish the happiness, exhilaration and feeling of success that you have awakened.

While in this mental and emotional state, start visualizing your current goal, while at the same time continuing to relive in your imagination the feelings and emotions you have awakened. Associate those feelings with your present goal. Feel as if you have already accomplished your goal, and you are feeling great, happy and satisfied. This action will inject energy into your thoughts and make them stronger.

In time, you will be able arouse feelings of success and accomplishment, without the need to use this method.

By charging your thoughts with emotional energy you can accomplish wonders. You set powers into action that will bring you the opportunities, tools or people necessary to accomplish your goals.

-Remez Sasson

Donkeys with Nappies?

Anger at Kenya donkey nappy plan

Limuru : A kick is often the answer to putting a nappy on a donkey.
Donkey owners in the Kenyan town of Limuru are up in arms over an order from the municipal authorities that their animals must wear nappies. The council said the measure would come into effect on 16 July to ensure the town's streets are kept clean. But recent press coverage and outrage from the town's residents has led the authorities to put their plans on hold.

"If we have to put nappies on our donkeys, soon they will say our cows need them too," one donkey owner said. Limuru's mayor, James Kuria, says: "We must come up with a way to make sure that the droppings are not a nuisance." Another donkey owner, Kimani Gathugu, who lives in the town some 50km north-west of the capital, Nairobi , says the measure is not practical and the council would do better to employ more street sweepers.

Fatal kick

Noting the vital role played by donkeys in the community, he says: "Donkeys are very important. Not many people have cars in the area and the donkeys serve as a mode of transport."

The council itself has workers. They can do the sweeping

Another resident, John Kinyanjui, says: "The council itself has workers. They can do the sweeping. We are paying taxes." Water trader Simon Kamau, who uses donkeys to transport water to his clients utters: "In all the three years I have been in this business, I have never tied a nappy on a donkey. "The problem is that the donkey can give you a fatal kick. I was once kicked by a donkey and it broke my leg.

"What the council should do is come to us traders and show us how to tie the nappies on the donkeys," Mr Kamau says Mr Kuria though seems determined to push on with his plan. "I have heard that in some areas where they keep donkeys, they also have nappies," he said. "We will go to these areas and see how they do it and come back and show our people how to do it. We want the people to earn a living but at the same time we must keep our town clean."

-Michael Kaloki, BBC News

The Other Side Of The Hill

A man lived at the foot of a hill. For a long time, he heard tales of the other side of the hill. Stories of fertile land and prosperous crops, great weather, beautiful women, breathtaking scenery and crystal-clear springs.

One day, he decided he was tired of his current life and felt it was time to improve it. So, he packed his bags, left his home and started climbing the hill in search of greener pastures.

The climb was extremely trying both physically and mentally. The man stopped and rested many times. At some points, the hill was very steep indeed, and many times, he really felt like giving up. But the thought of a better life kept him going.

One day, the man came to a very steep part of the hill - it was almost vertical. And at the top lay some very thick vegetation. It wasn't the first time he had come across such an obstacle. Perhaps this one was slightly more daunting than the rest, but it was certainly well within his capability.

But he was really tired. All those days of climbing and bashing through vegetation had taken their toil on him. And, all this time, he had no results to show, no fruits to enjoy. He was sick and tired. To some extent, bitter. He decided all this suffering wasn't really worth it. So what if he got to the other side of the hill? There was no guarantee that it held what the tales promised. His old home wasn't that bad anyway. So that was it. He decided to give up. He turned around and set off for home.

Little did the man know, that beyond that steep slope and thick vegetation, was already the peak of the hill. After that, it was to be a smooth journey downhill. And, indeed, on the other side of the hill, was exactly what the tales had promised. In fact, even better than what they claimed. He had already done the hard part, but he chose to quit just when things were going to get much better.

"Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it."

Josephus Daniels

"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go."

William Feather

"The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything - and it works."

William Strong

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

Calvin Coolidge

Think - Don't React

How you think, your relationship with yourself is what decides how well you communicate with your customers and relate to your team.

The most important relationship you'll ever have is the one you have with yourself so you've got to get that right.

Henry Ford said, (he was the guy who started all the traffic chaos)- "Thinking is the hardest work there is, that's why so few people do it". Too often we don't think and just react to how we feel. The successful business person doesn't react - they - "think".

Successful people have a deep understanding of their own minds. They're aware of their needs, their strengths and weaknesses, and their emotions. They're honest with themselves and resultantly, with their customers and their team. You have to decide who runs your mind, is it you or is it somebody else? Let me give you an example: I've always had a thing about good timekeeping; it's something that's been programmed into my brain. If you agree to meet me at 8.30 in the morning, I'll be there at 8.20; I will always do my utmost be on time.

So I used to get angry when a member of my team would show up late for a meeting or an appointment with me. When I got angry I'd get stressed and end up saying something that I regretted later. Therefore, I learned to start thinking about the situation and try to see it from their point of view and not let my programming run my brain.

That doesn't mean to say I ignored the lateness or did nothing about it; I thought very carefully about what I wanted to say and spoke to the team member about how we would resolve this situation.

The point about this is - I'm not prepared to allow that team member's behaviour to run my mind. Getting angry and stressed is not good for our health and it isn't a productive way to motivate our team.

In running their own minds successful people know what they're good at and what they're not so good at. Again it's important to be honest with yourself.

Some people take on tasks they're not good at, thinking that they should be able to do whatever it is. They then make a complete mess of it and "beat themselves up" for being so useless.

On the other hand, don't ever put yourself down; challenge and test yourself before deciding whether you can do something or not.

Successful people have confidence in themselves, they accept their weaknesses but they don't see it as a failure. They speak out when they don't know something and they ask for help when they need it.

Have you ever asked a question at a meeting possibly feeling a bit stupid and thinking everyone else knows the answer? At the coffee break someone then says, "I'm glad you asked that question because I didn't know either but I didn't like to ask."

Successful people have the courage to challenge what they hear in their own mind and also what they hear from other people. It's vital to run your own mind and think before you speak or take action, however, it's also important not to think too much.

-Alan Fairweather

Pickup In The Rain

One night, at 11:30 PM , an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her - generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxi cab. She seemed to be in a big hurry! She wrote down his address, thanked him and drove away.



Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read:



Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes but my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.



Sincerely,



Mrs. Nat King Cole

Six simple tips to achieve more in less time

If you want to get the most from life you need to manage your time correctly. If you do you will get more done in less time, feel happier, less stressed and get more from life and these tips are simple ones that you can apply in your work or home life.
So let's look at how to do much more in less time.

We all know the main key to effective time management is planning and these 6 points will fit into any plan, so let's look at them.

1. Divide your day into segments

Divide your time for specific tasks into time slots and group them together try to avoid multi tasking – you wont get more done you will get less, because a single task won't have your full attention. Also get used to avoiding the bombardment of modern communications such as trying to answer emails all day long or constantly answering your mobile phone. Clear you mind and for parts of the day turn off your mobile phone and shut your email box.

2. Prioritise

Prioritise your tasks and do your least favourite tasks FIRST. There are tasks we all hate (they're a bit like going to the dentist - you know your going to have to do them eventually) so clear your mind of them and do them first. Then number the tasks in order of priority and clear them in sequence.

3. The 15 Minute Rule

If a task takes less than 15 minutes try and do it right away or on the same day. This is a great way to stop tasks piling up. One of the keys to time management is moving on tasks quickly, getting them out of the way and the 15 minute rule will help you.

4. Clear Your Desk

Don't allow your desk to pile with paper! As soon as you receive correspondence and tasks they should be in your diary, in order of priority and out of the way. Having a clear desk and a clear mind to concentrate

5. Delegate

How is your time best spent? Put a value on your time and if you find tasks that can be done cheaper by delegating then delegate them and spend your time on the ones that you know make you the most productive. The industrial age was built on division of labour and trying to do everything went out of fashion in the 19th century!

6. Beware of Others

There are plenty of people who may want favours from you, or want to take up your time with their problems, but there is a time and place to do this! Don't try and solve the world's problems, when you can't get to grips with your own life. Make sure you are sensible in the time that you devote to others.

The above are simple tips that will allow you to manage your time more effectively and make you more productive, giving you more quality time to devote to yourself and do the things that you enjoy most.

Monica Hendrix

Encounter In The Lake

Some years ago on a hot summer day in south Florida a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.



His mother in the house looking out of the kitchen window, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, she ran towards the water, yelling to her son as loudly as she could.



Hearing her voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his mother. It was too late. Just as he reached her, the alligator reached him.



From the dock, the mother grabbed her little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the mother, but the mother was much too passionate to let go.



A farmer happened to drive by, heard her screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal, and on his arms, were deep scratches where his mother's fingernails dug into his flesh in her effort to hang on to the son she loved.



The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Mom wouldn't let go."



You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars too. No, not from an alligator, or anything quite so dramatic. But the scars of a painful past, some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret.



But, some wounds are there because, during tug-of-wars with danger and peril, those who love us had refused to let us go. Rejoice.

Donkey In A Well

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to try to retrieve the donkey.



He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.



With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.



Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!



Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up. Shake it off, and take a step up!



Remember the five simple rules to be happy:



1. Free your heart from hatred.



2. Free your mind from worries.



3. Live simply.



4. Give more.



5. Expect less.

Giving Blood

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital , I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save Liz."



As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"



Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood.

Behind every successful woman there is a man

Visakhapatnam: The wife of a poor pani puri vendor has become a software engineer in Infosys, thanks to her husband's support. Sheik Salar, 26, a street hawker, used every rupee he earned to help his wife Fatima Bibi Sheik, 21, achieve her academic ambitions. And it was not in vain. Fatima completed her course at Gayatri Vidya Parishad College of Engineering with high marks and was given a plum posting by the software giant in a campus selection.

In fact, she is the first student from the college to get into Infosys. Fatima and Salar stay in a slum at Rajendranagar. While Fatima went to college, Salar roamed around the city with a pushcart selling puffed rice, corn, chilli bhajjis and pani puri, earning Rs 150 per day. When she was married off to her distant relation Salar by her parents in 2001, Fatima was just 15 and felt that she would never achieve her dream of being a software engineer.

"I did not want to marry since I wanted to study further and achieve something," she said. She was crestfallen since Salar merely nodded when she told him about her dreams. But his nod meant a lot and he started saving money to help her study. By living frugally, Salar somehow got together Rs 60,000 to pay Fatima's fee for the first and second year of her engineering course.

The Andhra Pradesh State Minorities Finance Corporation helped the couple pay the rest of the fee. "At the time of our marriage I was not sure how serious Fatima was about her studies," said Salar. "But when I realised that she got 536 marks in her SSC exams and stood first in her school, I decided to help her study." The pani puri vendor was adamant that her future should not get spoilt because she married him.

A junior college in the city provided her free intermediate education. She secured a decent rank in the Eamcet exam and opted to join the electronics and electrical engineering branch in college. "We decided not to have kids till she got a good job," said Salar. "For this, I took much criticism from my parents." Fatima's eyes moisten when she talks about her husband. "You can't imagine the hardships he suffered to help me," she said. "In the last six years, he was my strength. He sacrificed all his joys for me."

"Fatima was always first in our class," said Asha Kanthi, her classmate. "We did not know her story then. Now she is our inspiration." Though happy at the turn of events, the couple is a bit sad when thinking about their being apart for three months, when Fatima would go to the Infosys campus in Mysore for training. Have they ever quarrelled? "When we have issues, we sit together and discuss and sort it out," said Fatima. She plans to take her husband along with her when she gets her posting. Salar too is proud, for he has proved that behind every successful woman there is a man.

The Monkey with The Wooden Apples

Once upon a time there was a very happy monkey in the jungle who wandered around eating delicious fruits when hungry and resting when tired. One day he came upon a house, where he saw a bowl of the most beautiful apples. He took one in each hand and ran back into the forest. He sniffed the apples and smelt nothing. He tried to eat them, but they hurt his teeth. Though they were made of wood, he clutched onto them even tighter when the other monkeys gazed at them envyingly. He admired his new possessions proudly as he wandered about the jungle. They glistened red in the sun, and seemed perfect to him. He became so obsessed with them, that he forgot to notice his hunger initially.

The sight of a fruit tree reminded him of the pain in his stomach, but he couldn't bear to set down the apples in order to reach for the fruit. In fact, he couldn't relax, either as he was constantly defending his apples. A proud, but distinctly less happy monkey continued to walk along the forest trails.

The apples became heavier, and the poor little monkey thought about leaving them behind. He was tired, hungry, and he couldn't climb trees or collect fruits with his hands full. What if he just let go?

Letting go of such valuable things seemed crazy, but what else could he do? He was so tired. Seeing the next fruit tree, and smelling its fruit was enough. He dropped the wooden apples and reached up for his meal. He was happy again.

Like that little monkey, we sometimes carry things that seem too valuable to let go. A man carries an image of himself as " productive" - carries it like a shiny wooden apple. But in reality, his busyness leaves him tired, and hungry for a better life.

Still, letting go seems crazy. Even his worries are sacred apples - they prove he's "doing everything he can." He holds onto them compulsively.

The Key to Happiness

Your ability to achieve your own happiness is the key measure of your success, of how well you are doing as a person.
You learn the key to happiness that has been the same through all of history. You learn how to dispel the two myths that may be holding you back and how to achieve more happiness in everything you do.

Dedicate Yourself to Your Best Talents
The key to happiness is this: dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself.

This is a big statement and a big commitment. Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw your whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish in order to develop yourself to a point where you can be unselfish for the rest of your life.

Please Yourself First
In Edmond Rostand's play Cyrano de Bergerac, Cyrano is asked why he is so intensely individualistic and unconcerned with the opinions and judgments of others. He replies with these wonderful words: "I am what I am because early in life I decided that I would please at least myself in all things."

Your happiness likewise depends upon your ability to please at least yourself in all things. You can be happy only when you are living your life in the very best way possible. No one can define happiness for you. Only you know what makes you happy. Happiness is an inside job.

Your Happiness is Up to You
The biggest myth about happiness is when people say that it is not legitimate or correct for you to put your happiness ahead of everyone else's. Throughout my life, I've met people who have said that it is more important to make other people happy than it is to make yourself happy. This is nonsense.

The fact is that you can't give away to anyone else what you don't have for yourself. Just as you can't give money to the poor if you don't have any, you can't make someone else happy if you yourself are miserable.

The very best way to assure the happiness of others is to be happy yourself and then to share your happiness with them. Suffering and self-sacrifice merely depress and discourage other people. If you want to make others happy, start by living the kind of life and doing the kind of things that make you happy.

Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

  • First, define for yourself the activities that you really love and enjoy, at home and work, and then organize your life so you do more of them.
  • Second, believe in yourself and trust your own feelings. Then, please at least yourself in all things.
  • Third, determine what it is that you do that brings the most happiness to others and then organize your life so that you can do more of it.

- Brian Tracy

The Battle Inside

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 wolves.

"One is Evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is God. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Worth

Horror gripped the heart of a World War-I soldier, as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. The soldier asked his Lieutenant if he could go out to bring his fallen comrade back.
"You can go," said the Lieutenant," but I don't think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may also throw your life away."The Lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway.

Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company's trench. The officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.

"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded."

"It was worth it, Sir," said the soldier.

"What do you mean by worth it?" responded the Lieutenant. "Your friend is dead."

"Yes Sir," the soldier answered, "but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say....

" Jim...I knew you'd come."

Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not really depends on how you look at it.

Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in your life........

True Moral Lessons : Different Seasons

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.

The second son said no, it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled very sweet and looked so beautiful that it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, the fulfillment of your fall.

Moral lessons:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Don't judge life by one difficult season.

Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come sooner or later

How to deal with pain and sufferings

"Suffering fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. The size of human suffering is absolutely relative."

- Viktor Frank

You need to deal with your pain and sufferings to create a new and empowered life. Pain and sufferings of the body and mind cause distractions and anguish. Adversities and challenges or even small discomfort from unfavourable events, challenges and relationships can lead to mental agony, anxiety and misery.
Pain and sufferings affect your behaviours and attitudes. If you allow distress to drown your soul, you will lose the courage to reorganize your life and set your sight for better things.

Accept adversities and challenges of life

Resisting what life has given you will create limitations and more ordeals. Though you may not yet see the light at the end of the tunnel, you have to push yourself to focus on the positive. Think of how you can use the experience to make a new beginning. Deliberately think positively and optimistically.

Take time for reflection

You need time to re-think, re-energize and re-focus and consider the options as well as your next plan on actions. Have many chats with yourself, listen well to your heart and pay attention to the direction that it's leading.

Giving yourself time to do that provides a break to recapture your energy and set your priorities. Once you have thought it over and identified your cause of torment, do something simple. Even a small positive action will get your momentum going.

Have control over your attitude

Make a resolution to do whatever it takes to end your pain and sufferings. You can choose to think, behave, act and feel differently. You have control of what and how you what to experience with each passing moment.

It takes commitment to end your suffering and developing the right attitude. Your decision determines what you will experience from this moment onward.

Let go of limiting beliefs that are holding you back. To move forward, you need to take control of your attitude and embrace change.

Step boldly forward and persevere

Given what has happened, think of the best solutions and decide on the most creative actions to push you through the difficult times. Fight whatever is holding you back and step forward boldly to challenge yourself. Change happens when you make a decision and take consistent action.

Change your focus

When you are faced with a hopeless situation, you need to change your focus so that you can obtain the energy to bounce back. The Power of Focus provide focusing strategies one step at a time.

Helping others and contributing your time and energy to make life better changes your focus. Look out for the beauty that is around you and of what is left from your misfortune.

Ask for what you want

Ask yourself, ask other people and ask God for what you want. Asking is the beginning of receiving. Ask sincerely and with hope that you will get the answers you are seeking. Ask for guidance, inspiration and the strength and patience to deal with your pains and sufferings.

Connie Limon

An Inspirational True Success Story

Sudha Murthy, wife of Mentor, Infosys Narayanamurthy, talking about her life and the story of how Infosys was born:
It was in Pune that I met Narayana Murty through my friend Prasanna who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco. Most of the books that Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them, which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man. Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy, bespectacled and an introvert.

When he invited us for dinner, I was a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m. at Green Fields hotel on the Main Road, Pune. The next day I went there at 7 o clock since I had to go to the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murty waiting in front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meet him...And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter. Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murty's experiences abroad and the books that he has read.

My friends insisted that Murty was trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, " I want to tell you something". I knew this was it. It was coming. He said, "I am 5' 4" tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life and I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me?" I asked Murty to give me some time for an answer.

My father didn't want me to marry a wannabe politician,(a communist at that) who didn't have a steady job and wanted to build an orphanage... When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his proposal. My mother was positive since Murty was also from Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet Murty in Pune on a particular day at 10 a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father. At 12 noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to Bombay, was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi (though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law. Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life. Murty said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don't want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murty, which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I would not marry Murty without his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murty promised to take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life. The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. Ironically today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd, one of the world's most reputed companies. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years I maintained a book on Murty's debt to me. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding. The amount was a little over Rs. 4000.

During this interim period Murty quit his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way. During the fag end of 1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay. But before he joined the company he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had a decent job, now. We were married in Murty's house in Bangalore on February 10, 1978 with only our two families present. I got my first silk sari. The wedding expenses came to only Rs. 800(US$ 17) with Murty and I pooling in Rs. 400 each. I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encouraged me to see America on my own because I loved traveling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences, which will remain fresh in my mind forever. Like the time when I was taken into custody by the New York police because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem . Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn't get a response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.

In 1981 Murty wanted to start INFOSYS. He had a vision and zero capital... initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into business. We did not have any business background. Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular paycheck and I didn't want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him. Typical of Murty, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs. 10,000, which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, "This is all I have". Take it. I give you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry.

But you have only three years! Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty. We bought a small house on loan, which also became the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house. In 1983 Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore. Murty moved to Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born, Murty left for the US on project work. I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murty in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters. My father presented Murty a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini baby sat my son, I wrote programmes for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was taking shape. It was not only me but the wives of other partners too who gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build something good. It was like a big joint family, taking care and looking out for one another.

I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murty made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially. Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murty said he did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said, "Sudha, if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily". I was pained to know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love doing.

It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's request. I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100 percent. One had to be focused on it alone with no other distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys. I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty's dream. It was a big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty says, "Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine". You are responsible for my success. I might have given up my career for my husband's sake. But that does not make me a doormat... Many think that I have been made the sacrificial lamb at Narayana Murty's altar of success.

A few women journalists have even accused me of setting a wrong example by giving up my dreams to make my husbands a reality. Isn't freedom about living your life the way you want it? What is right for one person might be wrong for another. It is up to the individual to make a choice that is effective in her life. I feel that when a woman gives up her right to choose for herself is when she crosses over from being an individual to a doormat. Murty's dreams encompassed not only himself but also a generation of people. It was about founding something worthy, exemplary and honorable. It was about creation and distribution of wealth. His dreams were grander than my career plans, in all aspects. So, when I had to choose between Murty's career and mine, I opted for what I thought was a right choice. We had a home and two little children. Measles, mumps, fractures; PTA meetings, wants and needs of growing children do not care much for grandiose dreams. They just needed to be attended to. Somebody had to take care of it all. Somebody had to stay back to create a home base that would be fertile for healthy growth, happiness, and more dreams to dream. I became that somebody willingly.

I can confidently say that if I had had a dream like Infosys, Murty would have given me his unstinted support. The roles would have been reversed. We are not bound by the archaic rules of marriage. I cook for him but I don't wait up to serve dinner like a traditional wife. So, he has no hassles about heating up the food and having his dinner. He does not intrude into my time especially when I am writing my novels. He does not interfere in my work at the running of Infosys. I teach Computer Science to MBA and MCA students at Christ College for a few hours every week and I earn around Rs. 50,000 a year. I value this financial independence greatly though there is no need for me to pursue a teaching career. Murty respects that. I travel all over the world without Murty because he hates travelling. We trust each other implicitly. We have another understanding too. While he earns the money, I spend it, mostly through the charity. Philanthropy is a profession and an art... The Infosys Foundation was born in 1997 with the sole objective of uplifting the less privileged sections of society.

In the past three years we have build hospitals, orphanages, rehabilitation centres, school buildings, science centres and more than 3500 libraries. Our work is mainly in the rural areas amongst women and children. I am one of the trustees and our activities span six states including Karnataka, Tamil Nadu, Andhra, Orissa, Chandigarh and Maharashtra. I travel to around 800 villages constantly. Infosys Foundation has a minimal staff of three trustees and three office members. We all work very hard to achieve our goals and that is the reason why Infosys Foundation has a distinct identity. Every year we donate around Rs. 5-6 crore (Rs. 50 - 60 million). We run Infosys Foundation the way Murty runs Infosys in a professional and scientific way.

Philanthropy is a profession and an art. It can be used or misused. We slowly want to increase the donations and we dream of a time when Infosys Foundation could donate large amounts of money. Every year we receive more than 10,000 applications for donations. Everyday I receive more than 120 calls. Amongst these, there are those who genuinely need help and there are hood winkers too. I receive letters asking me to donate Rs. five lakh to someone because five lakh is, like peanuts to Infosys. Some people write to us asking for free Infosys shares. Over the years I have learnt to differentiate the wheat from the chaff, though I still give a patient hearing to all the cases. Sometimes I feel I have lost the ability to trust people. I have become shrewder to avoid being conned. It saddens me to realize that even as a person is talking to me I try to analyze them: Has he come here for any donation? Why is he praising my work or enquiring about my health, does he wants some money from me? Eight out of ten times I am right. They do want my money. But I feel bad for the other two whom I suspected. I think that is the price that I have to pay for the position that I am in now.

The greatest difficulty in having money is teaching your children the value of it and trying to keep them on a straight one is a difficult task. Even today I think twice if I have to spend Rs10 on an auto when I can walk up to my house. I cannot expect my children to do the same. They have seen money from the time they were born. But we can lead by example. When they see Murty wash his own plate after eating and clean the two toilets in the house everyday they realize that no work is demeaning irrespective of how rich you are. I don't have a maid at home because I don't see the need for one. When children see both parents working hard, living a simple life, most of the time they tend to follow. This doesn't mean we expect our children to live an austere life. My children buy what they want and go where they want but they have to follow certain rules. They will have to show me a bill for whatever they buy. My daughter can buy five new outfits but she has to give away five old ones. My son can go out with his friends for lunch or dinner but if he wants to go to a five star hotel, we discourage it. Or we accompany him. So far my children haven't given me any heartbreak. They are good children. My eldest daughter is studying abroad, whereas my son is studying in Bangalore. They don't use their father's name in vain.

If asked, they only say that his name is Murty and that he works for Infosys. They don't want to be recognized and appreciated because of their father or me but for themselves. I don't feel guilty about having money for we have worked hard for it. But I don' t feel comfortable flaunting it. It is a conscious decision on our part to live a simple, so called middle class life. We live in the same Two-bedroom, sparsely furnished house before INFOSYS became a succeed. Our only extravagance is buying books and CDs. My house has no lockers for I have no jewels. I wear a stone earring, which I bought in Mumbai for Rs100. I don't even wear my mangalsutra until I attend some family functions or I am with my mother-in-law. I am not fond of jewellery or saris. Five years ago, I went to Kashi where tradition demands that you give up something and I gave up shopping. Since then I haven't bought myself a sari or gone shopping. It is my friends who gift me with saris. Murty bought me a sari a long time ago. It was not to my taste and I told him to refrain from buying saris for me in the future.

I am no good at selecting men's clothes either. It is my daughter who does the shopping for us. I still have the same sofa at home, which my daughter wants to change. However, we have indulged ourselves with each one having their own music system and computer. I don't carry a purse and neither does Murty most of the time. I do tell him to keep some small change with him but he doesn't. I borrow money from my secretary or my driver if I need cash. They know my habit so they always carry extra cash with them.

But I settle the accounts every evening. Murty and I are very comfortable with our lifestyle and we don' t see the need to change it now that we have money. Murty and I are two opposites that complement each other... Murty is sensitive and romantic in his own way. He always gifts me books addressed to From Me to You. Or to the person I most admire etc. We both love books. We are both complete opposites. I am an extrovert and he is an introvert. I love watching movies and listening to classical music. Murty loves listening to English classical music. I go out for movies with my students and secretary every other week. I am still young at heart. I really enjoyed watching "Kaho Na Pyaar Hai" and I am an Hrithik Roshan fan. It has been more than 20 years since Murty and I went for a movie. My daughter once gave us a surprise by booking tickets for "Titanic". Since I had a prior engagement that day, Murty went for the movie with his secretary Pandu.

I love traveling whereas Murty loves spending time at home. Friends come and go with the share prices... Even in my dreams, I did not expect Infosys to grow like the way it has. I don't think even Murty envisioned this phenomenal success, at least not in 1981. After Infosys went public in 1993, we became what people would call as rich, moneyed people. I was shocked to see what was happening to Infosys and to us. Suddenly you see and hear about so much money. Your name and photo is splashed in the papers. People talk about you. It was all new to me. Suddenly I have people walking up to me saying, oh we where such good friends, we had a meal 25 years ago, they claim to have been present at our wedding (which is an utter life because only my family was present at my wedding). I don' t even know all these people who claim to know Murty and me so well. But that doesn't mean I don't have true friends.

I do have genuine friends, a handful, who have been with me for a very long time. My equation with these people has not changed and vice versa. I am also very close to Narayana Murty's family, especially my sister-in-law Kamala Murty, a school teacher, who is more of a dear friend to me. I have discovered that these are the few relationships and friendships that don't fluctuate depending on the price of Infosys shares. Have I lost my identity as a woman, in Murty's shadow?... No. I might be Mrs. Narayana Murty. I might be Akshata and Rohan's mother. I might be the trustee of Infosys Foundation. But I am still Sudha. I play different roles like all women. That doesn't mean we don't have our own identity. Women have that extra quality of adaptability and learn to fit into different shoes. But we are our own selves still. And we have to exact our freedom by making the right choices in our lives, dictated by us and not by the world.

Sudha Murthy

Three Keys to Personal Power

There are three personality powers that top leaders use to increase their personal power and influence.

Emotions Are Contagious

The first power you can develop is enthusiasm. The more excited you are about accomplishing something that is important to you, the more excited others will be about helping you to do it. The fact is that emotions are contagious. The more passion you have for your life and your activities, the more charisma you will possess, and the more cooperation you will gain from others. Every great man or woman has been totally committed to a noble cause and, as a result, has attracted the support and encouragement of others in many cases, thousands or millions of others.

The Key to Charisma

The second personality power that you can develop is expertise, or competence. The more knowledgeable you are perceived to be in your field, the more charisma you will have among those who respect and admire that knowledge because of the impact it can have on their lives. This is also the power of excellence, of being recognized by others as an outstanding performer in your field. Men and women who do their jobs extremely well and who are recognized for the quality of their work are those who naturally attract the help and support of others. They have charisma.

Prepare Thoroughly for Every Event

The third power of personality that gives you charisma in the eyes of others is thorough preparation, detailed preparation, prior to undertaking any significant task. Whether you are calling on a prospect, meeting with your boss, giving a public talk or making any other kind of presentation, when you are well-prepared, it becomes clear to everyone. The careers of many young people are put onto the fast track as a result of their coming to an important meeting after having done all their homework.

Get on Top of Your Subject

Whether it takes you hours or even days, if an upcoming meeting or interaction is important, take the time to get on top of your subject. Be so thoroughly prepared that nothing can faze you. Think through and consider every possibility and every ramification. Often, this effort to be fully prepared will do more to generate the respect of others than anything else you can do.

Keep Good Notes

Remember that the power is always on the side of the person who has done the most preparation and has the best notes. Everything counts. Leave nothing to chance. When you do something related to your work or career, take the time to do it right the first time.

You are a work in progress. You are always growing and improving. Your job is to become the very best leader you can be, and you can - with regular and persistent practice of these personality powers.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

  • First, get excited about your goals and your work if you want others to be excited. Express your belief and commitment to others at every opportunity.
  • Second, dedicate yourself to a lifelong process of getting better and better at what you do. Prepare thoroughly for every event. Set an example in everything you do.

- Brian Tracy

Clearing The Field

It was a lively carnival atmosphere. Hundreds of people were jam-packed on a field little more than two football fields in size. A gigantic electronic screen had been set up to beam a series of movies.

Deep into the night, the show was over and it was time to go home. Before the crowd began to disperse, an announcement boomed over the public address system : "Please do not litter. Clear the area of all trash as you leave. Thank you for your co-operation".

By the time the vast majority of the crowd had left, it was clear most of the people did not hear or understand the plea, or they just did not bother. Thousands - literally thousands - of coke cans, water bottles, plastic bags, newspapers and other items lay strewn all over the pitch. Who were the poor souls responsible for clearing up this mess?

Within minutes, most of the audience had departed. Some continued to hang around, either having planned to stay and just relax under the night sky, waiting for friends, or not wanting to jostle with the leaving crowd.

Facing the huge mess of rubbish, a handful were either tempted or felt inclined to help clean up. But all of them had reservations.

"What would others think of me?

"What would my friends think of me?"

"Would people think I'm stupid? After all, I'm not going to be paid or anything."

"Would people think I'm just trying to show off that I'm a nice person?"

"It's not my job. I'd better leave it to the people in charge."

"Nobody's going to thank me or appreciate what I'm going to do. Why bother dirtying my hands?"

"I'm in a hurry to get somewhere."

"I'm just one person. What difference could I possibly make?"

Somewhere near one corner of the field, a teenage girl named Gerry didn't allow herself to be stopped from doing what she felt she should do. Spontaneously, she took a couple of trash bags and began going around picking up rubbish. Admittedly, she only covered a small area. More importantly, however, seeing her in action melted the reservations a few others near her had in their minds. Before long, they joined in.

Soon, pockets of people were slowly but surely emptying the field of items which did not belong there. Some worked alone. Some silently. Some in groups. Some jokingly and playfully, laughing and fooling around. It was an inspiring sight, people who did not know each other, working together towards a common good cause, all for no reward except their self-satisfaction. In a mere twenty minutes, the unsightliness which dominated earlier was gone.

Gerry was a little stone that was thrown into the pond. As the stone hit the still water, ripples were formed, beautiful ripples that spread far and wide, much further than imagined possible.

Don't ever underestimate the effect and influence each one of us has on others, and on the world. You, too, can spread ripples.

If you try, your dreams might come true

One day while I was still leaving at home with my parents and siblings I was watching TV. After flipping through channels for a while I found something that caught my attention. It was a group of young boys singing and dancing on the local cable channel. I remember I observed them for several minutes and though: these guys are so stupid, just wasting their time. They will never be famous singing anything like that.
Years later, I went back home for a visit with my husband and infant daughter, I heard the same song on the radio. Of course I did not recognize the artists right away. But, you guessed right it was them. The same guys I felt were wasting their time. Later, I asked about the song I heard on the radio and my brother and many others confirmed what a hit this new group had become.

I still had no idea who they were for a while but, one day I remembered the young guys that I would have made fun of, if I would have been accompanied by a friend. But, now it was different I was their fan. Their voices are soft and their lyrics make sense.

Once I became aware of whom they were I learned a lesson in life. If you try, your dreams might come true.

Back then I was too young and cool (so, I though!) to be able to step out of my comfort zone and risk looking stupid in front of others.

But, these guys were able to stand up and follow their dreams. If you notice I said stand up because I suspect I was not the only person thinking they were wasting their times. I can imagine that close relatives probably told them to concentrate on school, while friends or siblings probably mocked them.

They chased after their vision and did not stop until they made it. I suspect I was probably not ready for their music at the time or they were simply in need of more professional training.

My perception of them has changed. Now I see them as role models. Every time I think of their story I feel inspire. I see all the possibilities that life can be.

However, my purpose of sharing this information with you is so that you can too open your eyes and dare to take risks. Who knows? You might just make it!

Kenia Morales

The Rehearsal that Makes a Lifetime Difference

Within every human being exists a propensity for greatness. The gifts may vary, and the greatness may live out in a vast array of alternatives--say from carpentry to rocket science--but the gift that gives one true self-respect, lifts the spirit from "same old, same old," resides within. It is our ability to do our very best with our talents in every thing we do. This potential resides within each one of us--but if so, then why is it so often denied?
Every individual essentially has a self-representation that is rehearsed and eventually actualised. The process begins by fantasizing at a very early age. We fantasize a script, perhaps one of those from some Hollywood production. We begin rehearsing it, and we either abandon it to take up a new one or practice it until we role-play that script as who we are. Practicing the script sooner or later automates the behaviour. Our imprinting environment plays a significant role in the alternative scripts available to us. If the parents are uncaring and abusive, so are the children, and so forth. If warmth and friendliness lead to embarrassment, then cold and aloof compensate. If honesty gets us into trouble, then deception becomes a defence strategy, and so forth.

It is much more complicated than expressed here, but simply, it is also just this way. In fact, every one of us divides ourselves among four essential views of ourselves. These four faces include the following:

Our actual self.
Our ideal self.
Our ought-to-be self.
Our desired self.

These categories were originally developed by P A D Singer to show how the different selves conflict with each other. I will use it differently.

Most of us are aware of a so-called actual self. This is the self that has failed in ways we often will not share with others. This is the private self. This self holds the thoughts we wish we did not have, the acts we wish we had not done, our beliefs about our worth, our attractiveness, and so forth. It is the self of our secrets and our ambitions. It is the self that most try to change in some way or another at some time in their life--perhaps even perpetually.

The actual self pales by comparison to our ideal self. The ideal self is often a construct built by our culture. This self would live a perfect life--without error and therefore without room for growth.

Then there is our "ought-to-be self." This is the self full of all our learned "shoulds" and "oughts." This self differs from our ideal self in the sense that many of the oughts are not ours--they are the oughts of our culture, our society--but deep down inside they are not ours. Sometimes these oughts are the result of rules that make little or no sense to us; sometimes the oughts are of codependent negotiations such as those implied when Mom said things like, "If you loved me, you would not behave that way," or "If you loved me, you would do what I said," and so forth. Still, even when one recognizes the source and the nature of the ought relationship from which the oughts themselves arise, they often persist.

Finally, there is the desired self. Somewhere among all of our other selves is a self that we believe we could be. This is the self we long for, especially when we are young and planning our future. It is also the source of much discontent in our later life if the desires have not been fulfilled--and they rarely, if ever, are.

The ought-to-be self, desired self, and ideal self share certain commonalities, but they also differ remarkably. There is psychic tension among them and in their totality, substantial tension between them and our so-called actual self.

Now, there's one more thing I wish to add before continuing. The actual self is seldom the true actual self. The actual self is the self of self-perception and therefore is complete with every believed limitation that accompanies one's private self-perception together with every defence adjustment our mechanisms have created to protect our self image or ego.

Okay, all of this is accomplished while we are still very young. In time we gain the wisdom and insight to become familiar with this maturation process and a myriad of other operations that function in our culture, our homes, etc. to produce socially acceptable membership and behaviour. Using one of Shakespeare's metaphors, life is a stage where we play our various parts; perhaps it's time for a new rehearsal. Indeed, change, improvement, true self-actualisation, and so forth, all require that we create a new character. Using our power of imagination and consciously choosing the role playing model we will rehearse, will greatly assist and facilitate any change.

Therefore, it literally behoves all of us to watch those conversation exchanges that take place in our head as well as every other aspect of our "rehearsing" behaviour. To experience our best, we must practice/rehearse our best at all levels of our being. It works--but it can also be much easier said than done. Still, life's cornucopia of joy awaits those willing to make the effort.

- Eldon Taylor
Excerpt from his book "Choices and Illusions"